Daria Dontsova is not only a famous writer, but also a wonderful mother. Her eldest son Arkady, who was born in his first marriage, is already 47 years old, he himself has a son Nikita.
From her third husband she gave birth to a daughter, Maria, she is now 33 years old. The girl is married to programmer Yuri Subbotin. And in 2015, they had a son, the second grandson of Daria, Mikhail.
The writer has always loved and loves her children and grandchildren, she spends a lot of time with them.
10. Children copy parental behavior
The writer advises before scolding children for some act, it is worth asking yourself if you did the same. No matter what you say to the baby, he will pass these words by his ears, but will repeat all the actions for you.
So, if you constantly repeat to him that you need to love your grandmother, and after her unexpected arrival she starts cursing, he will remember for life that his grandmother needs to be treated badly.
Parenting is not moralizing. Do not constantly repeat that you need to say "thank you." The child will learn to thank others if there is a living example in front of his eyes, for example, dad, who after lunch can say “thank you”.
The grandson of Daria Misha in his 3 years knows what is allowed and what cannot be done. He never hits dogs, does not scream, does not stomp his feet, because before my eyes there are no examples of such behavior.
9. Grandchildren must be loved as well as children
Daria Dontsova admits that she treats children and grandchildren alike. Her grandson Misha reminds her of little Masha. When the girl was 5 years old, she loved to sleep, holding on to her hand. If Daria tried to remove her hand, Masha woke up and demanded her back. Now Misha has the same habit.
Grandchildren for her - this is an opportunity to again come to terms with a small child, with the smell of baby soap or milk. But there is still a difference. Now their family has more opportunities, and she can buy another toy for her grandson to please herself and her baby.
8. For a child, mom is always good
The writer is sure that in our country they love children, and earlier it was considered indecent if a woman did not give birth. We have bad moms, but not many of them.
Daria is not used to evaluating herself. She gave birth to children to love them. And for children, mom never changes and does not age. Any child can come to her, even bad and nasty, and she will always accept him.
7. Parents invest in the baby values that he will remember all his life
Like buildings, children can have a good foundation, or they can be found on quicksand. If the right values are invested in the child, he can do the opposite, out of a feeling of protest, or get into bad company. But sooner or later he will return to the values that his mother and father instilled in him.
6. For a child to trust you, you need to be able to keep his secrets
If a child shares a secret, you can not tell her to others. Once she herself said that she would hide the trick, because dad will be upset. But if this happens again, then she will be forced to tell him everything, and his pressure may rise. Children must be sure that their mother will not reveal their secret to anyone if they promised to keep this secret.
5. Do not encroach on the territory of the child
If a teenager decided not to let you into the room, put up terrible posters there, do not argue with him. This is his territory, his room, into which you cannot enter without his permission. He does not touch your things. And this applies not only to the room, but to everything else.
If he brought a daughter-in-law that you don’t like, you need to make an effort and try to love her. Something in the life of an adult child should be good: work or family, an exciting hobby. Does he like such a life? If so, there is no need to intervene.
4. To prohibit is not an option
Many parents drive their children into strict prohibitions. Daria Dontsova is sure that this is not right. If they consider their child old enough, they are not forbidden anything, they simply are not interested in doing something bad.
All the friends of the children always sat at their place; they with her husband were allowed to bring guests, treat them to everything that is in the refrigerator. And they always knew what the children were addicted to, with whom they were friends.
When the boys began to smoke, she did not make tantrums, but advised her to take good cigarettes from her dad. And it worked, after some time they quit smoking, because no excitement, no one takes away the smoke. Daria says that they never hid alcohol, the children could get it and try it. But having tried, they no longer wanted to drink.
3. It is necessary to prohibit only that which can harm the health of children
So, if a child wants to pierce his nose, you need to explain to him that because of this, ventilation may be disturbed, he may have sinusitis. If all this did not work on him, let him pierce and get sick.
It is important to explain to the child why you are opposed, to tell how all this can end. But if this whim can seriously harm health, parents should be firm.
2. No need to put pressure on children
Daria Dontsova said that neither she nor her husband tried not to put pressure on the children. So, when their daughter graduated from school, they wanted Masha to enter the faculty of psychology, where her dad worked then.
But the girl said she wants to be a buyer. They did not object, but only warned her that if something went wrong, she would not have an airbag, i.e. higher education.
Masha thought and went to psychology herself, and then received a second education. Her dream came true, she works as a buyer, and her knowledge of psychology helps her a lot.
1. Children must respect their parents
The writer recalls that her father and mother held important posts. They always had work in the first place. Her grandmother was engaged in her upbringing. At that time everyone lived like this: parents worked hard, and the children tried to study well.
Parents kept their distance: if guests came, the girl could not sit next to them, she also ate separately from adults. Daria herself behaved differently with her children.
But she agrees that children should respect their parents and remember that mom is not a girlfriend. She can help, will do everything in her power, but she will not tolerate rudeness and familiarity. Parents are older and smarter; they need to be treated with respect.