Little children are immediate creatures. They do not take into account the opinion of the public; for them, neither the material situation of a person nor the level of his intellectual development matters.
And most importantly, they believe in themselves, they have no complexes. Where, then, does a large number of notorious, insecure adults appear in the world? The answer is simple. It's all about education, it is the fault of the parents.
Of course, father and mother do not want their child in the future to have problems with their own "I" or have difficulty communicating with other people. They try to give their child the best, to educate him as a worthy person, but no one is safe from mistakes.
A random word or phrase can sink the child into the soul, he will remember them for the rest of his life. Below is a rating of phrases that make a notorious adult out of a child.
10. You will behave badly, I will give you ...
This phrase is the last argument that parents use to calm their child. So they say when the child does not obey, is naughty, firmly stands his ground. No one thinks that these words cause irreparable harm to the unstable children's psyche.
The child begins to think that parents need him only when he behaves well. Otherwise, he will be easily given to his uncle, aunt, and a policeman. In the future, he may have problems in relations with close (and not only) people.
He will do everything that they ask him, if only he would not be "given", not abandoned, not fired. Do you want your child to please everyone around? If not, forget these words.
9. You are just like a father (mother)
This phrase is often used by parents who are unhappy with their family relationships. “You are as lazy as your mother!” Says the father. “You are as stubborn as your father!” The mother laments. It is difficult for the child in this situation, he must choose whose side to take.
His self-esteem also suffers, he might think that he took from the mom and dad only the bad. Moreover, with such phrases you undermine the authority of the husband (wife). In the future, the child may have problems in relations with the opposite sex.
8. Go away, I do not want to see and hear you
Such a phrase can often be heard in moments of despair, when the child does not obey, messed up the mess for the hundredth time or ruined an expensive thing. Mom in the hearts speaks these words to him, without thinking about what influence they have on the child.
What does he hear? “You ruined my whole life! I would be happy if not for you! ” From childhood, he is tormented by feelings of guilt before his parents, he constantly thinks that without him they would be better.
In the future, when the child grows up, this guilt will not go anywhere. Only specialists will be able to help, but usually they do not turn to psychologists for help in such cases. People do not seek to change anything, they simply transfer children's attitudes into adulthood.
7. At home you will get from me!
A sorrowful child knows that his parents will punish him for his bad behavior, but only at home. With this phrase they emphasize their superiority. It’s like they say: “There are a lot of people here, so I won’t shout at you, but at home you’ll get it completely. I will scold you with the last words, or maybe even hit you. "
If parents behave in this way, in the future the child will have problems in relations with superiors. He will never be able to calmly communicate with management. What successful career can be discussed in this case? Such employees do not have their own opinions; they always want to please their superiors so that they are not “punished”.
6. And I'm already at your age ...
The most common phrase. Instead of teaching a child to support him, parents try to compete with him. Of course, because they had earlier begun to help dad and mom, studied at the same five, read a lot and knew English perfectly. The list goes on for a long time, but the meaning is clear.
The child begins to think that he is worse than his parents. He sets himself goals, reaches them, but not for himself, but for parents. This is not to say that this is bad, a person will achieve certain heights in life. This is not to say that this is good, because often such children all their lives “climb over their heads” to prove that they are worthy of their parents.
5. You will eat poorly - you will become weak and stupid
Children, unlike adults, eat only when they are hungry. Adults eat because it is time for breakfast, lunch, dinner; Spoiled mood or bored; a colleague called for tea. Okay, let the adults eat when they want, but why do they impose this kind of behavior on their children?
The child constantly hears that if he eats poorly, he does not grow up, becomes stupid, ugly. Never use this phrase. Do not force children to eat. Otherwise, your child will have problems with food. Overweight, the cult of food, eating disorders - these are the most common of them.
4. If you behave so badly, I will not love you
Another phrase that makes a limp adult out of a child. He understands that love must be earned. Just because no one loves anyone, parents are no exception. Yes, of course, your child can be an example for the rest, because he will do everything to deserve your love.
In the future, he will definitely have problems in relations with the opposite sex. Your son or daughter will try to please his chosen one in everything, even if you have to step over yourself. Such a person can be manipulated not only by his partner, but also by relatives and friends.
3. You are my bunny, little bear, the sun
It seems that there is nothing wrong with calling a beloved son or daughter an affectionate nickname. Only soon will the child begin to identify himself with what you call him. Children unconditionally believe their parents.
Therefore, before you say something, think about it. Especially be careful in a fit of anger. Affectionate nicknames are not forbidden, but do not overdo it. In public, call a child by name only. Remember that the name is its presentation to the world.
2. You see, what Lena is done, and what are you?
To encourage the child to act, to make him study well or to help around the house, his parents compare him with other children. True, often this method does not work. The child, instead of preparing for the lesson, will think about how to take revenge on Lena.
Soon he will get used to comparing himself with others. When he becomes an adult, this habit will ruin his life. He will grow up an envious person with low self-esteem. Do not spoil the life of your child, because you probably know from your own experience how it feels to constantly compare yourself with people around you.
1. Do not disgrace me
This phrase is detrimental to the children's psyche. Parents openly admit that they are ashamed of their own child. In response, he will try to hide, close. So it will be in adulthood.
Children who have often been told this phrase are hard on people, they believe that they can not offer them anything worthy.
This applies to both the professional sphere and personal life. Even his own parents are ashamed of him, to say nothing of the rest. If you want your child to grow up a confident person, never say this phrase to him.