Having a baby dramatically changes a woman’s life. Just an introvert needs to build relationships with children in a slightly different way than the rest.
10. Allow yourself to be what you are
The main mistake of introvert moms is to try to be different. No need to do this, it will not lead to anything good. You will not pretend to be all your life? Allow yourself to be what you are. Do not scold yourself for wanting to be alone. Do not think that you are some kind of “wrong mom”. Each person is individual. And you are first of all a person with your inner world, problems and desires. Learn to accept yourself. Otherwise, you will constantly be in tension. This is harmful to the nervous system, in addition, there is a risk of falling for children.
9. Feel free to share your concerns and negative emotions.
Feel free to share your experiences. Do not hide them as far as possible. Everyone knows that the situation does not seem so hopeless if there is anyone to talk about it. You probably have a girlfriend or sister whom you can tell about your problem. Only you need to choose the “listener” very carefully. Otherwise, you may run into harsh criticism and misunderstanding. Especially if this person is the same mommy as you, only she cannot live a second without children. After such a conversation, your self-esteem will fall even lower.
8. Do not schedule business meetings on the day you want to be with your children.
Set priorities correctly. Undoubtedly, children should be in first place, but careers should not be forgotten either. Distribute your time correctly. You are always faced with a similar situation: you want to pay attention to children, but you are very tired at work. And you also need to cook dinner, wash dishes, wash, iron ... Allocate a few evenings for the children, do not plan important business meetings these days. Otherwise, in the evening you will not want to play with the children. They will again be left to their own devices, and conscience will gnaw you.
7. Ask for help from friends, relatives, colleagues, a psychologist
Learn to ask loved ones for help. Separate childcare responsibilities with your husband. Let him play with the children, walk with them, and at this time you will rest, stay alone, gain strength. If there are grandparents willing to sit with their grandchildren, let them do it. Do not feel guilty, and do not even think that you are again using the help of loved ones. At work, too, do not take on an excessive load, ask for the help of colleagues. If everything is completely bad, and even rest alone does not help, consult a psychologist. Maybe you have depression, and the children have nothing to do with it.
6. Teach children to play alone
Very often, mothers feel uncomfortable when the child plays alone. It seems to her that she is a bad mother, that she can not captivate a child. And it seems like you have to go play with him, but you don’t want to. Again, it is a shame that he plays alone. On the contrary, teach your child independence. It is very important that the child himself can find something to do, play alone. If you have more than one child, then there is nothing more to worry about. The two or three of them are not at all bored. Therefore, from early childhood, teach children to play alone. Leave them first for 5 minutes, then for 10. If the child does not want to play alone, explain to him that you are busy. Promise that when free, keep him company. After some time, children will get used to playing alone. Then they will not want to take you into the game.
5. Be aware of your limitations.
Learn to honestly admit to yourself what you cannot do. No need to strive for ideal in everything. Tell yourself: “I won’t pull it.” You will immediately feel better. It is very difficult psychologically to solve problems at work all day, then run home, study English and mathematics with a three-year-old child, do housework, prepare crafts in the kindergarten and essays in the school for the older child. Live the way you like; don't set unattainable goals for yourself. Perhaps the daughter of a neighbor at the age of 2 already sings songs in English, but this does not mean that your child needs it. Highlight the most important in parenting, strive for this. You don’t need the rest, let it remain beyond your capabilities. Just admit it.
4. Hire a babysitter for the children or put them in the regular section
To ensure that your psychological state is always normal, you need to periodically enjoy being alone. So what's stopping you? Hire a babysitter. A few hours a day, several times a week will not hit your wallet hard (and your self-esteem). Do not pay attention to those who do not understand why a child should be nanny if her mother does not work. Mom needs a rest too. An excellent way out of this situation will be groups of short-term stay in kindergartens or development studios, in sections. The child will talk with peers, learn something new. It will be good not only to you, but also to the child.
3. Exercise in your free time that energizes you
As soon as most mothers get a free minute, they run headlong, clean up, or hang on social networks. Spend this time for the benefit of yourself. Take a bath, do a small set of exercises, get creative or your favorite hobby. Do what gives you energy and strength. You need to regularly replenish your internal resources, your favorite pastime is best suited for this purpose.
2. Reconsider your expectations - to yourself, to children, to the situation
When you were planning a child, when you were waiting for him, you most likely imagined rainbow paintings. You play, study, the child is obedient and cheerful, cleans toys, does not cry, allows you to do your own thing. In your dreams, you also do not resemble yourself as you are now: you have lost weight, become prettier, have fun with your child and develop yourself. In fact, you do not have time. So maybe it's time to lower the bar. After all, now you understand that a child is not only happiness, but also a lot of work. It will be much easier for you if you reconsider your expectations. Do not expect exploits from yourself, from children and your husband. Take it easy. No high expectations, no disappointments.
1. Be attentive to yourself when inviting guests
If you invite guests, then prepare for this mentally. If guests are with children, then the apartment will turn into chaos. Now you can sit with a girlfriend over a cup of tea, talking about the eternal, if only if you attach a child for this time. It doesn’t matter where to go to your grandmother, nanny or kindergarten. Get ready for the kids to play, run, scream. You cannot drive out the guests, and you will have to wait patiently when they get home. If for you receiving guests is a tedious task, then maybe they should not be invited. If the visit cannot be postponed, then reassure yourself with the thought that this is not for long.