Parting is always painful and difficult for representatives of any gender and age. And if you have been together for quite a long time, then everything passed hand in hand begins to surround and crush, crush, crush!
It is not easy to be discouraged in such a situation. Also, the “caring” environment taldychit: “how many more will be”, “so forget this (this)”. People do not understand that the last thing you want to think about is how many more will be different. After all, in fact, you already planned to connect life with this particular person, and you don’t need “many” at all.
Relying on the advice and pseudo-support of people is useless. You need to survive the pain yourself, using the most affordable life hacks, which we will talk about.
10. Realize what happened
With this, it is worth starting a way out of any relationship. Before “dissipating,” you should carefully think about the situation, analyze what led to it, where the other person is to blame, and where you messed up. In the future, this will avoid injuries and neurosis, and, most importantly, focus on problems and in new relationships. Every person in our life has been sent to us to change us, to make us learn a lesson and become better. That's what you do. And do not forget to let go of emotions: go overeat - get ice cream or pizza, want to cry - sob in full, want to be alone - down with all the gadgets. And sit in the “cocoon” exactly as long as it takes to eventually flutter out of the updated and calm “butterfly”.
9. Do what you love
As they say, being busy is the best medicine in the world. This makes sense, because for an interesting and creative activity, a person has no time to get hung up on his problem and for a long, long time to procrastinate tormenting issues. After you have completed the previous paragraph, try not to mentally return to the past and problems. You have free time and resources (energy, perhaps extra money), which will help you immerse yourself in a hobby. Many find solace in literate pulp fiction in psychology, others with light sorrow begin to do masterpieces (songs, poems, paintings), and still others channel energy of annoyance into sports, where they can achieve significant results.
8. Burn bridges
Probably, this item should be performed immediately after the first. Having realized and considered the reasons for the breakup, you need to decide to let go of the past. And this means that no psychological "anchors" in your life should remain. To leave, so to leave. If the initiator of the breakup is not you, and still feel hope, then know that even torn photos or deleted profiles on the social network will not prevent a person from making peace. In the meantime, there are no hints on the horizon, try to take away any reminders of the past: correspondence, joint photographs, gifts, toys, etc. It is not necessary to create a "sacrificial fire", it is important that these things do not catch your eye temporarily.
7. Love yourself for real
This must be done regardless of your parting or having a partner. It is not a matter of pride and pride, they say, "where else will he meet such (such)". To love yourself means to accept your shortcomings, start to eradicate them and understand that even as you are, you deserve attention and human warmth. There are always people who will share your views, emotions and feelings. Do not spur the universe in search of such people. As they say, fate sends us teachers according to our consciousness. And if people who were hurt, offended or left were sent to you, it was your consciousness that created the need for them. And these are deep psychological problems.
Self-love is a desire to work on oneself, the ability to recognize one's strengths and weaknesses, active work on shortcomings and the upbringing of moral qualities.
6. Friends support
Here we are not talking about “hanging” on the phone all day, going to the parks with all the friends from the social network just to “kill time” and raise self-esteem from the opposite sex. Many people start to go to extremes - they put on the best (sometimes immoral) clothes, demonstrate unnatural self-confident behavior, and they use friends as an excuse to “frame themselves”. All this will not bring you the desired relief, but only deepen the neurosis. Supporting friends involves listening, without the need for feedback. The real friend’s business is to listen and hear, accept you as you are. If a friend is a good logician and analyst, or maybe a psychologist, then he will help put the situation on the shelves, analyze the actions of you and your former partner, and contribute to the formation of healthy conclusions. Women, often, are not capable of this - they completely "echo" their frustrated girlfriend, not contributing to logical thinking. Therefore, it is better for a woman to simply cry and speak out to relieve tension, no more.
5. Do not rush to start a new relationship
The proverb “wedge by wedge by wedge” was not made by our ancestors so that the “abandoned” youth would embark on adventures and try to get rid of their neurosis with the help of a new partner. But it often happens that way - in order to block pain, people try to “plunge” into new relationships. Like, good emotions will replace negative ones, you can live on. Nothing of the kind happens - new impressions only overlap with old injuries that will break through sooner or later and be sure to be transferred to new relationships. It is only necessary to start a new romance when everything is clearly analyzed and the heart completely lets go. For some people, such an opportunity is realized only after years. But do not be afraid of prolonged loneliness - after all, this is an occasion to work on yourself in order to subsequently really make out a soul mate.
4. Take care of yourself
And we will not talk about neurotic shopping or the desire to decorate. The latter suggests that you subconsciously seek to enter into a new relationship without surviving the old ones. And this threatens injuries and depression. When working on yourself, pay attention to your hobby, career (if it is important), your favorite pastime. It is very important to keep the body fit, as a healthy person has more healthy thoughts. Be sure to pay attention to self-development - look for a solution to your problems in books or healthy trainings that are available on the Internet, listen to literate people. Of course, changing your wardrobe or look can temporarily lift your mood and make you feel more confident, but this is only one of the minor ways to really take care of yourself.
3. Alcohol will not help
Nothing that badly affects the brain will help get rid of neurosis and pain. If you want to make healthy conclusions and move on, then the brain must work actively! Analysis and logic should be included, as critical thinking is crucial to understanding the causes of separation and getting rid of trauma. Any poison (and alcohol is a medicine proven by medicine) poisons the brain and nerve cells, immerses you in a state of limp and stupid vegetable. In the morning you wake up with a hangover and the same intense pain as yesterday. But you could spend time on introspection and getting rid of this pain. In addition, “thanks to” alcoholic drinks, people do a lot of stupid things after breaking up - spontaneous sex, calls to exes, drunken neurotic fights, unreasonable purchases, etc.
2. Change the setting
Yes, native walls can still remind you of past meetings. Sometimes the city “crushes” recognizable places and institutions where once you felt good. For the period of rehabilitation, it is advisable to change the situation - to leave to think in another place, to visit distant relatives. At home, it is also advisable to make a small rearrangement, or maybe even a facelift. Expel the “aura” of memories with all available methods.
For many, the fixation point may be an intimate question. For example, you have to sleep in the same bed where until recently you made love and fell asleep with a loved one. Rearrangement will help a lot, as will the purchase of new bedding.
1. Embark on a mini-journey
Continuing the previous paragraph, a change of scenery can transform into a long-planned trip and a welcome vacation. Firstly, it will allow you to increase the distance with your former partner, which means that you will consciously save you from desperate calls, arrivals, etc. Secondly, the environment will completely change - there will be no psychological anchors that drag you into thoughts about the past. Thirdly, new emotions will appear that will help charge your life with positive energy and distract you.
In fact, parting is nothing more than another trauma from the point of view of psychology. With a proper analysis of the situation and its understanding, the pain will begin to recede. It is very important not to allow yourself to be fixed on the past, not to live by it, but to begin to realize your personal plans and dreams with gradual slow steps, which will surely bring you closer to your real soul mate.